new and expected

M c D o n a l d ' s
I'm not currently inclined to visit every one of the eighty McDonald's [*] in Manhattan, as Ian MacAllen [*] has suggested I do. I agree with him, though. Until I do (or try), I will keep a shortlist of the finest. For cheeseburgers.

'The finest' being a term of exclusivity, I shall, for the moment, keep the shortlist at two.

1. More so than certain more celebrated outposts, the restaurant at 735 9 Ave [*] is ace. Pros: Softest buns. Least tooth-catching patties. Generous with onions. Ketchup, as well, which I think is rare. Temperature of sandwiches is always right, without the whole bloody damned thing being dry. 'Freshest' (without being 'wet') burgers in town, possibly. Keyless bathroom. Cons: No ketchup dispensers. Full of cunts.

73. The McDonald's at 114 Delancey St [*] remains the only McDonald's where I have ever been sold cheeseburgers without patties. Shitheads on both sides of the counter. Nevertheless, it is probably the only McDonald's in the city I'd have felt comfortable ordering twelve cheeseburgers in.