 |
 |
| b l o g | |
16.1.10DesultorSince time immemorial (2004, actually), the (rubbish) tagline of erikkennedy.com has been 'desultory.' This has never meant 'irregularly shifting,' 'unsteady,' or 'unmethodical.' It has always meant 'like a desultor.' This definition of that word, from William Smith's Dictionary of Greek and Roman Antiquities (London, 1st ed. 1842), is as good as any:
'desultor ("aprobates"), literally "one who leaps off," was applied to a person who rode several horses or chariots, leaping from one to the other. As early as the Homeric times, we find the description of a man, who keeps four horses abreast at full gallop, and leaps from one to another, amidst a crowd of admiring spectators. (Il. xv. 679–684.) In the games of the Roman circus this sport was also very popular. The Roman desultor generally rode only two horses at the same time, sitting on them without a saddle, and vaulting upon either of them at his pleasure. (Isid. Orig. xviii. 39.) He wore a hat or cap made of felt. The taste for these exercises was carried to so great an extent, that young men of the highest rank not only drove bigae and quadrigae in the circus, but exhibited these feats of horsemanship. (Suet. Jul. 39.) Among other nations this species of equestrian dexterity was applied to the purposes of war. Livy mentions a troop of horse in the Numidian army, in which each soldier was supplied with a couple of horses, and in the heat of battle, and when clad in armour, would leap with the greatest ease and celerity from that which was wearied or disabled upon the back of the horse which was still sound and fresh. (xxiii. 29.) The Scythians, Armenians, and some of the Indians, were skilled in the same art.' 1.12.09'The Cat on the Keyboard'It's just occurred to me that I have something to add to a popular (tired) Internet meme. Re Keyboard Cat, see the sheet music for 'The Cat on the Keyboard,' by Harry Stafford (London: Francis, Day & Hunter, 1915).
2.11.09'Your minds are clogged up with tea bags!'Let's face it. Who among us is not an angry young man, even now, in 2009?
From 'playlet' Look Back in Hunger (a parody of John Osborne's Look Back in Anger), broadcast as a sketch on the radio version of Hancock's Half Hour, 8 April 1958 (MP3 here): * * * mother: Would you like a cup of tea, Jimmy? jim: Tea? Tea?! Is that your answer to it all? Tea? The panacea of the middle class! The answer to all the problems facing mankind today? Have a cup of tea, Jim! You both make me sick. You're dead, both of you. You're both mentally dead. Your souls are drowned in tea. Your minds are clogged up with tea bags. You're like two slop basins swimming around in a sea of tea! Just like this country, the whole rotten system, stained in a tea of apathy! father: What's he mean, Mum? mother: I don't think he wants a cup of tea. mother: Would you like a cup of coffee, then? jim: Coffee? Coffee?! Is that your only alternative to the stagnant mess that's slowly choking you, a cup of coffee? mother: No. We've got some cocoa, I think. * * * Etc. If you don't understand why this is funny, that's okay, but something is wrong with you. Scads of episodes of this programme are available at the Internet Archive. 22.10.09Валентин СтрыкалоI recently offered up a date with one of Ukraine's hottest hottie-strummer-plucker-singer-lookers, Валентин Стрыкало (Valentin Strikalo), as a prize for one of my famous, pointless Twitter caption contests. This was the teaser: Валентин Стрыкало.
No-one won. Oh, life! 29.9.09'Design for every inscape.'14.9.09Psychological Assessment ScalesHello, mentals. Do these sound familiar? They do to me.
Fake Bad Scale. Conscious Repression Scale. Carelessness Scale. Marital Distress Scale. Safety-Seeking Behaviour Scale. Cannot Say Scale. Bizarre Mentation Scale. Enjoy these fun scales! 29.8.09Never Eaten KetchupI've had a discussion today with a girl who's never eaten ketchup. ('I like ketchup crisps! Never actually tried ketchup, though!') She's from Glasgow. Her name is Lucy. I know she's telling the truth.
But I'm completely incredulous. I would become a bigamist for such women. 23.8.09WallpaperI can't recall anyone ever having asked for an erikkennedy.com wallpaper. Nevertheless, I accidentally made one, in five common sizes. If only it were good:
1920 × 1200 1600 × 1200 1280 × 800 1024 × 768 320 × 480 (Note haircut and the fact that I've been outdoors recently.) (Note that, whether fists or lips are coming my way, I'm ready. I'll take them.) (Also note that I don't actually emit light; I'm just very pale.) 2.8.09Prairie OysterHello, cowards.
I've always feared that I would sick up a raw egg if I drank one, or worse, that I wouldn't be able to swallow it at all, and that, shamed, I would be cast out by my people, doomed to wander the lands and seas of the world alone. Like a wanker. It turns out that I was making something of nothing, as I usually do. I feel a fool. A prairie oyster, a cocktail of an egg, Worcestershire sauce, pepper sauce, black pepper, and salt, is extremely invigorating after a late evening, as well as being generally more appetising than a plain glass of raw egg. I prepared one today. I'm pleased to report to the uninitiated that this cocktail is delicious, worthy of the finest eateries and clinics. Heavenly mouthfeel. Terrific moisture release. So good I had two more. The cocktail presented. The glass, its contents having been drunk. If you think I've done things the soft way by gussying my egg up, do get in touch with me, so we can have a duel. 9.7.09The Finest Flap Copy I Have Ever ReadOn the jacket of Iain Finlayson's The Scots: A Portrait of the Scottish Soul at Home and Abroad, (Atheneum, 1987):
'The Scots generally are perceived to be proud, poor, prejudiced, and xenophobic, deriving their sense of national identity from a past that is endlessly, energetically, and often erroneously debated among themselves.' Cunts. |
|
| Home Erik Kennedy Friends Erik Kennedy Archives current 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 
|
|
 
|